So why do I say “at last”? For starters I have had a revalation about my PPNs. I find myself laughing, more all the time, about how similar, actually nearly identical my experience has been and appears to continue to be to Mark J’s. The pain and the humor and the attempts to dodge the things I did not want to be true as I realized they really are, and the unfolding , the creativity of our attempts to hold on to so many things even as we see the folly of doing so. The contortions, twists and turns trying to dodge the truth while clinging desperately to the lies we see clearer and clearer at every twist and turn. Then the joy, relief and peace as we accept each reality. Shedding the weight of our costumes, disguises, pretenses and virtualy floating ecstatically as the free unencumbered pure spirits we were, are, and ever will be. Finding at last the naked truth I’ve dodged so much of my life and laughing and crying simultaniously at the weight lifted from my heart and soul. I REALLY AM WHOLE, PERFECT, STRONG, POWERFUL, LOVING, HARMONIOUS, AND HAPPY! I am what I am, and that’s all what I am.(a plagiarist) I am Rick! the perfectly twisted, whacky loving, well meaning Autonomous, Truly healthy being ready at last to just BE what the good Lord sent me here to be. Yes I want to be wealthy, to be helpful, to be whatever the moment wants and needs me to be to fullfill God’d purpose in sending me here at this time and place to be the piece of the puzzle that will run to the front, holler to all others LET’S GO everything we ever wanted to do and be is waiting for us just over the horizon, the next horizon and all the horizons beyond!!! It will be great! it will be fun! it will be exciting! come on it will be perfect because we are perfect. WHAT? you don’t believe? That’s ok trust me I’ve been there and not only survived, but flown like an Eagle! You can and will too! I know it with every fiber of my physical and spiritual being! I’ll help you and I know sooooo many others who will too. We are the MKMMAs, and so are you!
Good night all for now. When I wake up I’ll find out this really is all a dream……. a dream we all share and together make come true!